Eric G. Wiley

Written by "Porchclimber"

Sup. I'm seriously tryin' to keep my cool right now. Finally got my computer privligis back an don't want to mess that up. I got another browser window open set to full screen behind this one as backup in case I gotta do a quick switch so they don't see my headline. It is logged in to a prayer forum.

So last week the guards raided all our cells. Took our mattresses, pillows - everything, and threw it in a pile in the middle of the cell block. They found EVERYTHING: My slammin' scrabble game I put together from stolen keyboard buttons, my pencil drawing of my girl lookin' her best, my pet cheewawa (Chico) I made outta' human hair - it took 274 days to make him. I started out makin' him a natural cheewawa color, but it took too long cuz they ain't too many blond dudes in here, so after a while I just wanted to get him done and started grabbing whatever hair I could get. He turned out a nice calico. I loved him.

The guard who found him straight up disrespected him. He reached in the cubby I made in my mattress and pulled him out. Soon as he laid eyes on Chico he said "Jesus Christ!" and jes' threw him down. The other guards was crackin' up and the guard who found him got pissed and kicked Chico into the trash pile.

What's effed up is they took away my privliges. Like I wasn't already a destroyed man. They destroyed me and then enilated me, too.

My 30 minutes is up.

Posted by Eric Wiley at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Written by Truk

Puny little cars. You wallow lamely about like goldfish in a puddle. Stop struggling for a moment and witness my power!

I lower my rigid member and surge ahead with all four wheels propelling me forward. The snowy white drifts that you dared not enter fly willingly apart as I leap into them. Onward I plow with reckless abandon.

Your tiny wheels would never have been admitted into the depths of these smooth alabaster hills. Follow behind me if you wish, but dare not attempt to be the first to approach my fair mistress for she is a wild beast that will destroy lesser chassis.

Posted by Eric Wiley at 03:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Written by "Porchclimber"

Ay. Just want you to know I 'preciate the work you been puttin' in your blog an flickr pages and stuff. I know it must take up a lot of your time - organizing all those digital pics of your hot wife and your new car and your sweet-ass ipod.

I noticed in that one close-up on flickr you got your iPod engraved with your name. Nice touch! The picture you took of your CD library leaves no doubt in my mind that you've got very good taste in music. Your home office is very well organized, too - I really am jealous. Was that a Mac Book Pro I saw on your desk?

What did that house run ya - 400 Gs? Man! I would love to chill out on your back deck like I saw you doing with all your friends in that one photo set. Your friend's wives are hot, too, dude! If I had a hot tub built into my deck I'd be hittin' it butt ass naked every night.

Anyway, I know sometimes people wonder if all the work they put into something is worth it, so just wanted you to know that I, for one, am a fan of all you're doin'. The effort you put into the details is what really makes it worth lookin at. The fact that you geo-mapped your house and told me on your blog what time you go to work every day will make my life a lot easier when I get out of jail and have to get back to work.

I got ya bookmarked, bro! Ciao.

Posted by Eric Wiley at 01:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)